TGHIP - The Great Home Improvement Project

'Way back there, OWW got Real Lucky and was offered the opportunity to place a ship of the US Navy into inactive status. This involved shifting Classified Stuff from the ship into the hands of the appropriately cleared Naval Persons, which Persons were accompanied by armed Marines. We had to hump the Classified Stuff down "ladders", which are minimalist staircases, and down to the pier. I kid thee not, bruddah, we had mucho of the Classified Stuff, so there were many trips from Radio I and Radio II down to the pier.

That wasn't the worst.

The worst was paint.

Navy Haze Gray.

On the deck. On the overhead. On the bulkhead. On the mast.

Many, many days of ..... paint.

I hate, despise, and loathe paint.

TGHIP involves flooring. Move the furniture around, rip out the carpet, clean the concrete slab, lay down the plastic sheets as a vapor barrier, lay the planks of Armstrong Heirloom Hickory Laminate - not a problem, just a bit of physical labor.

But, between "rip out the carpet" and "clean the concrete slab" comes the despicable "paint".

Did I mention that I don't like paint?

I managed to skate out of actually painting a wall for thirty-seven freaking years, but now I am painting walls in "Tequila", or "Heron Blue", or "Duet Green", or "Baby Blue Eyes".

I may vomit.

The only reason I don't go into a quiet corner of the back yard and vomit is that Tiny, Bruiser and Ralph (our vicious guard dogs) would probably crowd around, and in Doggie, say "Watcha doin' Dad? Is it fun? Can we do that? You want a lick in the chops, Dad? How's about I wag my tail so hard I fall over? Dad? Dad? Whatcha doin' Dad?"

Gahhh!

I.

Hate.

Paint.