You Can't Make This Stuff Up...

Honestly now, if I were to tell you this story as a joke, you'd stare at me as if I was crazy.

See the whole story HERE.

Translated from De Telegraaf (in the Netherlands)

"EMMEN — Police in Drenthe province placed video images of an intruder on the Internet. Doing that damages the privacy of an intruder, is the opinion of the Lawbreakers Association [yes, it really exists — translator]. The Association filed a complaint with the National Ombudsman."

Yah.

A "Lawbreakers Association".

I can't wait until the ACLU hears about this one! They'll advise ACORN to rename itself in a heart-beat...

Master Criminals of South Georgia - Update

I have a grim update to this post:

Amy Kern was released from custody, and has now gone from being a bit of a joke to being an accused murderer.

PORT SAINT LUCIE, FL -- Its an unusual description for an accused killer: "All American girl. Sweet." Colin McCarthy says that is just one side of his ex-girlfriend, Amy Kern's personality. As accustomed as he was to seeing her smiling, happy face, he was not surprised to learn she admitted to fatally shooting her aunt's boyfriend and bludgeoning her grandmother to death with a tire iron.

OK, yeah, I poked more than a bit of fun at her and her unidentified "fiance" in my post. By definition, "Master Criminals" swinging axes and such are not wrapped too tight, and dammit, I did see some humor in that particular story.

I see no humor whatsoever in THIS part of the rest of the story.

That brings up a question: Am I going to stop highlighting "Master Criminals"?

No, I am not. I just hope that none of the future "Master Criminals" are as ill as Amy Kern.

My thanks (I think?) to commenter "Anonymous", who brought the rest of this sad and tragic story to my attention.

Master Criminals of South Georgia

From time to time I immortalize here at OWW's Place some of the more... imaginative among our Criminal Element.

Honest, you can't make this stuff up!

The headline in the January 9th edition of the Tribune & Georgian reads:

"Woman chases fiance with axe while holding baby"

Police arrested a St. Marys woman Dec 28, 2008 after she allegedly chased her fiance with an axe in one had and a baby in the other. Amy Kay Kern, 29, was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, terroristic threats and acts and battery after she alleged scratched her fiance on his face and chased him out of the house holding an axe and their 1-month-old child.

Now, honestly, if I included that little fracas in the Great American Novel that I'm never going to write, someday, you'd jeer and jape and say "OWW, that can NEVER happen in real life!"

Well, Where are They?

Lifted from Kim duToit. I would have filed off the serial numbers, but... Here they are.

Why aren’t all of the Hollywood celebrities holding telethons and asking for help in restoring Iowa and helping the folks affected by the floods? Where are the Dixie Chicks, and Sean Penn in his rescue boat? Why isn’t the media asking the tough questions about why the federal government hasn’t solved the problem? Where are all the FEMA trucks and trailers? Why isn’t the Federal Government relocating Iowa people to free hotels in Chicago? When will Spike Lee say that the Federal Government blew up the levees that failed in Des Moines? Where are all the 24/7 lurid news tales of cannibalism and unnecessary drownings? Why did Iowans evacuate so prematurely; why are they not holed up in deathtrap sports centers? Where are all the pics of White looters stealing high-end tennis shoes and big screen television sets? When will we hear Governor Chet Culver say that he wants to rebuild a “vanilla” Iowa, because that’s the way God wants it? Where are the people declaring that George Bush hates rural White people? Why are the Iowans not complaining more and demanding to be saved? How come in about 2 weeks, you will never hear about the Iowa flooding ever again?

I think these are all fair questions. Not comfortable questions, no, not at all.

But I think that they are fair questions.

Darwin Award Contender

First, read the story HERE.

Then, think just a little bit.

Young Master Wesley, 17 years of age, can't get out of the way of a large, noisy, train that's coming right down the railroad tracks.

After reading the story, my instant reaction is: Why doesn't CSX (the railroad in question) sue the daylights out of Ms. Whiddon for:

1. Failing to teach her son that trespassing is illegal.
2. Failing to teach her son that choo-choo trains on tracks ALWAYS have the right-of-way.
3. Failing to teach her son that trying conclusions with large moving vehicles is a losing proposition.
4. Causing psycological trauma to the people operating the train, due to 1, 2, and 3 above.

Ms. Whiddon is supposed to be an "Educator" - so why didn't she teach her own son?

On the other hand, her son won't be able to spread his defective genes around, will he?

And yes, I'm an insensitive clot, with a bad attitude and a rotten disposition.

So, go ahead. Sue me.

I'll clean your clock.

Monday Came on Tuesday This Week - For a Moron

I've been stumped, recently, for things to blog about. Call it "blogger's block".

Politics, although interesting in the abstract, just doesn't have any zing.

I've already touched on the GHIP (Great Home Improvement Project), and I'm pretty sure that nobody is all that interested in my dog's "Kennel Cough", which is under treatment and going away.

How about one of my Christmas presents? Y'know, the headphones for my iPod, which have sent those pukey earbuds right into the trash?

Nahhh.

Well, how about "You Can't Make This Stuff Up"?

From Fox News...


Moron Arrested After Driving Truck Into House
Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Note to Mr. Moron: Don't act like one.

Bryan Scott Moron, 20, of Burleson, Texas, was arrested Friday after he lost control of his truck and struck a mailbox, then a house, MyFOXDFW.com reports.

Living up to his surname, Moron failed sobriety tests, the station said. The arrest report showed his blood alcohol level to be more than twice the legal limit.

Moron, a restaurant server, was also driving at an excessive speed, according to the report.

First Amendment? Or What?

So, Hayden Barnes, this punk kid at Valdosta State (In, of course, Valdosta GA), decides to twist the administration's tail a bit. This is VSU's Administration, in the person of the President, right?

Read the whole thing HERE.

Well, the Prez, Ronald Zaccari, decided to expell young Mr. Barnes as a "clear and present danger to this campus".

The "clear and present danger to this campus" consisted of an entry in a FaceBook.com page, a collage with a reference to a "Zaccari Memorial Parking Garage."

Point #1: College students are always getting outraged over something - and flapping their jaws about it, whatever it is.

Point #2: College presidents are the face of The Administration. Good Heavens, they might even get mocked!

Point #3: His Eminence Zaccari needs to get over himself.

I mean, Mr. Barnes could have referred to the Prez as "The Little Zucchini", right?

Mr. Barnes gets a hearing on 26 November, which means that THIS quarter/semester is completely shot to doll rags.

The Little Zucchini has, with malice aforethought, laid VSU (and the taxpayers of Georgia, which means me) open to a whopping great lawsuit and judgement based on the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States - and that, my friends, really annoys me.

Why shouldn't it? After all, it IS my money, right?

From The Police Blotter....

From time to time I'll drop something in here that sounds so improbable that you'll say "OWW, you have got to be making this stuff up!"
No, I don't.
It's a weird, wonderful world out there folks. Just full of idiots doing stupid things for our entertainment.
Like this couple, courtesy of my local rag, the Tribune & Georgian, of June 8th, 2007. They don't put all their stuff on-line, so I typed this in MANUALLY - wearing my fingers to the bone, all for my legions of readers....

Woman Attacks Husband With Electric Screwdriver A Folston woman was arrested after being caught outside the Kingsland Police Department beating her husband. Connie L. Stone, 33, of Folkston, was arrested at 1:30 p.m. May 31 by Officer William Lee and charged with simple battery. Lee reported he was standing near the rear of the Kingsland Police Department when he and another officer heard screaming coming from a store located just behind the department. He reported he heard Stone screaming obscenities and shouting "get out." Both he and the other officer approached the truck that Stone and her husband, Richard, were sitting in and witnessed her strike her husband in the face with a closed fist several times. Stone then began to hit her husband with an electric screwdriver, Lee reported, and continued to yell obscenities....

Honest, folks, you cannot make this stuff up.